Saturday, August 15, 2009
Someone Save Me!!!!!
My heart is dead!
Please someone save!!!
I wanna kill myself!!!!
But whats holding me back!!!
Shitballs Must go drink nowww!!!!
Vodka Here I come!!!
12:34 AM
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Never I thought I would meet you.
Never would I thought I would Love you.
I love you so deeply that I'm drowning without realizing.
All I want is for us and for you to be happy.
That's all I ask from God.
That we stay together till death to us part.
I wanna take care of you.
Make you smile.
Make you laugh.
We share something that no one else has.
Something special that only you and I know.
We might fight, cry or sometimes feel we wanna kill ourselves.
But even if all this things happen.
We overcome them.
If a relationship that has no disagreements/fights.
Something is wrong.
That's just loving blindly.
To me, there's no such thing as the saying "Love is blind".
To me, it's not that love is blind.
It's the heart.
If one, who follows the head to love will be considered dumb.
If the one, who loves with heart and also soul.
Will always make the loved one happy.
So Shaz, this is a poem for you directly from my heart.
DON'T GO FAR OFF, NOT EVEN FOR A DAY
Don't go far off, not even for a day, because --
because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.
Don't leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.
Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don't leave me for a second, my dearest,
because in that moment you'll have gone so far
I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?
5:03 PM
The memory of you emerges from the night around me.
The river mingles its stubborn lament with the sea.
Deserted like the dwarves at dawn.
It is the hour of departure, oh deserted one!
Cold flower heads are raining over my heart.
Oh pit of debris, fierce cave of the shipwrecked.
In you the wars and the flights accumulated.
From you the wings of the song birds rose.
You swallowed everything, like distance.
Like the sea, like time. In you everything sank!
It was the happy hour of assault and the kiss.
The hour of the spell that blazed like a lighthouse.
Pilot's dread, fury of blind driver,
turbulent drunkenness of love, in you everything sank!
In the childhood of mist my soul, winged and wounded.
Lost discoverer, in you everything sank!
You girdled sorrow, you clung to desire,
sadness stunned you, in you everything sank!
I made the wall of shadow draw back,
beyond desire and act, I walked on.
Oh flesh, my own flesh, woman whom I loved and lost,
I summon you in the moist hour, I raise my song to you.
Like a jar you housed infinite tenderness.
and the infinite oblivion shattered you like a jar.
There was the black solitude of the islands,
and there, woman of love, your arms took me in.
There was thirst and hunger, and you were the fruit.
There were grief and ruins, and you were the miracle.
Ah woman, I do not know how you could contain me
in the earth of your soul, in the cross of your arms!
How terrible and brief my desire was to you!
How difficult and drunken, how tensed and avid.
Cemetery of kisses, there is still fire in your tombs,
still the fruited boughs burn, pecked at by birds.
Oh the bitten mouth, oh the kissed limbs,
oh the hungering teeth, oh the entwined bodies.
Oh the mad coupling of hope and force
in which we merged and despaired.
And the tenderness, light as water and as flour.
And the word scarcely begun on the lips.
This was my destiny and in it was my voyage of my longing,
and in it my longing fell, in you everything sank!
Oh pit of debris, everything fell into you,
what sorrow did you not express, in what sorrow are you not drowned!
From billow to billow you still called and sang.
Standing like a sailor in the prow of a vessel.
You still flowered in songs, you still brike the currents.
Oh pit of debris, open and bitter well.
Pale blind diver, luckless slinger,
lost discoverer, in you everything sank!
It is the hour of departure, the hard cold hour
which the night fastens to all the timetables.
The rustling belt of the sea girdles the shore.
Cold stars heave up, black birds migrate.
Deserted like the wharves at dawn.
Only tremulous shadow twists in my hands.
Oh farther than everything. Oh farther than everything.
It is the hour of departure. Oh abandoned one!
5:03 PM
Monday, May 25, 2009
ABC About You Questions:
A - AVAILABLE: Nope cause I'm an enemy to all
B - BIRTHDAY: 28/12/1989
C - CRUSHING ON: A girl I like from a certain CHIJ SCHOOL
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: MILK TEA
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: 1st must be my BIG SIS "JAYCE", THEN BROTHER "Danny", THEN 2ND BROTHER "VICTOR", THEN THIRD BROTHER "BK", 2ND BIG SIS "JINGLE", FORTH BRO "GABRIAL" YEAH EASY GOING PEOPLE ROCK
F - FAVORITE SONG: Better luck next time prince charming by Alesana
G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Both HEHEHEHE
H - HOMETOWN: Malaysia, Melacca and also singapore
I - IN LOVE WITH: F.... S.......
J - JUGGLE: Nope
K - KILLED SOMEONE: Almost during T.K.D Years
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: Singapore To Thailand
M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Strawberry hehehehe
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 2
O - ONE WISH: To retire by the age of 30 and have 2 daughters
P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: JAYCE
R- REASON TO SMILE: Force to or else people think I look damn scarry but hate it cause people will think they could make me their errand boy or some lame shit.
S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: This Is Usually The Part Where People Scream by Alesana
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 5.00 a.m.
V - VEGETABLE(S): everything. no complains.
W - WORST HABIT: Daydreaming
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: A LOT!!!!
Y – YOYOS ARE: Damn nice when you knw how to do tricks.
Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Snake
Random Questions About You:
Spell your name without vowels: MHMMD ZKR BN ZKRH
What color do you wear most?: Black
What are you listening to? DEATH METAL
Are you happy with your life right now? LIFE SUX! but what u gonna do about it.
What is your favorite class in school? The class where I can sleep.
When do you start back at school/college?: After NS I guess
Are you outgoing?: Yeah
Favorite pair of shoes?: My black DC shoes
Where do you wish you were right now?: Visiting my relatives at Australia.
THE CANS:
Can you dance?: I don't know maybe.
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: nope! It’s so hard!
Can you whistle?: Yeah!
Write with both hands?: Yeah I guess
Walk with your toes curled?:Yeah It looks funny when i walk that way
THE DO'S:
Do you believe there is life on other planets?: YUP
Do you believe in miracles?: Yes cause i believe in God
Do you believe in magic?: What kind of magic? Las Vegas magic or Harry Potter magic? Or dark magic? Dark magic. Cause I love GORE.
Love at first sight?: NEVER
Do you think there's a Satan?: sure.
Do you believe in Santa?: No.
Do you know how to swim?: YEAH I love to swim!
Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows?: YEAH! tried it during survival camp training at trenganu jungle
THE HAVES:
Have you ever been on a plane?: Yep.
Have you ever asked someone out?: Yup
Have you ever been asked out by someone?: Yup
Have you ever been to the ocean?: DUH!!!
Have you ever painted your nails?: Yeah! Black when I was into goth
THE WHATS:
What is the temperature outside?: 31 degree Celsius
What radio station do you listen to?: 98.7FM
What was the last restaurant you ate at?: Sakura
What was the last thing you bought?: Sweets
Who was the last person you took a picture of?: Me n my god sis
CRYING SECTION:
Ever really cried your heart out?: yeah.
Ever cried yourself to sleep?: yep.
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: Yup
Ever cried over the opposite sex?: Yup
Do you cry when you get an injury?: Nope I'll just laugh it off
Do certain songs make you cry?: Yup
HAPPY SECTION.
Are you a happy person?: If you want me to pretend that I'm happy then yes
What can make you happy?: Smoking, slacking with my frens from TP
Do you wish you were happier?: Nope It's nice as it is.
Can music make you happy?: Definitely, espeacially when it makes my head bang.
LOVE SECTION.
How many times have you had your heart broken?: Too many times too count :(
Have you ever loved someone so much that you'd die for them?: no. I’ve never been put in that situation.
LOOK AT ME.
What is your current hair color?: Duh! Black
Current piercings?: All close already!
Have any tattoos?: Never had one but I want to.
Eye color?: Dark Brown
IN A GIRL
Favorite eye color: Brown
Short or long hair: short? Long silky hair! =D
Height: shorter than me
Best clothing: t-shirt and jeans
HAVE YOU EVER.
Been to jail: Yup
Mooned someone: No.
Thrown up in a store: Yes, when i had stomach flu.
Done something really stupid that you still laugh at today: Punching someone till he bleeds.HAHAHAHA
Gone skinny dipping: nope.
THIS OR THAT.
Pepsi or Coke: Coke!
McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King
Single or Group Dates: Group
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
Strawberries or Blueberries: Strawberries
Meat or Veggies: both.
TV or Movie: Movie
Guitar or Drums?: GUITAR!!
Adidas or Nike: Adidas
Chinese or Mexican: Chinese!!!
Cheerios or Corn Flakes: Cornflakes
Cake or Pie: Cake wohoooo.
11:26 PM
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Happy birthday Noura! You're a year older. Please take care of yourself for the rest of the year. An try lessen the stress you have. You can always talk to me you know. I'm here for ya. Always.
10:45 PM
Friday, February 13, 2009
MY PERFECT SISTERMy perfect sister holds me tightMy perfect sister knows when I’m madMy perfect sister helps me when I’m sadMy perfect sister is so smartMy perfect sister has my heartMy perfect sister is good and niceMy perfect sister loves me lotsMy perfect sister ties the knot My perfect sister is here to stayMy perfect sister I have until this very dayMy perfect sister I wish you wellMy perfect sister yes I can tellMy perfect sister asked if I lied My perfect sister knows if I’ve cried ->My perfect sister is in my heart to and will always stay<- My Little SisterMy little sister is always there when you need her.My little sister is thebest little sister everand i would not trade her for anything.My little sister has a way of making everyonelaugh when they have a bad day.My little sister is one of a kindMy little sister is annoying to, but i still love her anyways.My little sister is also my best friend.To the one I loved most
Noura Boura
a.k.a
Borat
a.k.a
Best friend I had to Date
a.k.a
Irritating(Joking:)
a.k.a
Best Gift
that
God Gave me
11:12 PM
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Faking a smile is better than being sadHAhahahaha! Not been updating my blog for a very long long time been busy with school, work and night school. Been really stressful and crazy this couple of days, practically hate my life at this current stage. I've been missing my baby sisters lately, couldn't meet or give them tuition. Miss them badly, need to meet them soon cause they are my haven. For all i know, I feel so calm if i'm with them. It's like all my problems go WhoOsh!!! away. Amazingly yes. Today just eat and slept the whole day. Till evening, where i needed to go for studies at my aunt's place. I study better with my aunt than at home. Excludng when I'm with my sisters. So basically study study and had dinner at her house. Then started discussing about better teaching methods so that i could teach better for my students. I hope, I'll be a better teacher for all. But that talk strecth till 11++ close to midnight. Went back walking, started to think about life and whether i should get a date V DAy(Most probably not). Once i reached below my block, I just slacked on my own smoked some ciggs before going up. Basically today evaluation was pretty fruitful.
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1:20 AM
MY PERFECT SISTER
Faking a smile is better than being sad
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